when your family seems such a happy family when you are not with them.
Every morning my cat meows at me so I open the bedroom and she can go out at the same time I can hear my mom screaming “Breakfast’s ready”
And is that exact moment when all I can think is “no nO NO! WHY? why can’t people just die in the middle of the night? why do I have to do this all over again today”
And I pretend I’m ok, I watch movies with my family or friends, I go to french school every saturday, I go to the choir, I talk about plans and future with my friends; but every night all I can think of is “please, please, this can be the night there’s no reason for me to wake up and you know it, please just let me die”
And then I wake up with a meow and a scream that I don’t to hear anymore.
I don’t and I’m not.
The day is coming
I want to just die.
i’m not looking for a sign, but thank you.
everything seems so fragile right now, i don’t care about how i’m gonna end everything, not anymore.